I HAZ POPCORN AND AM READY FOR WAR

I PUSH LEFT-LEFT-RIGHT-RIGHT-UP-DOWN-START AND I GET 100 EXTRA LIVES.

I WILL RESCUE THE PATRIOTIC FUNDAMENTALIST ISLAMIC TERRORIST FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM THE EVIL ASSAD.

I WILL INSTITUTE DEMOCRACY AND BRING STABILITY TO THE PEOPLES OF SYRIA

UNTIL THEY PISS ME OFF, AT WHICH TIME I WILL KILL THEM TOO

BUT I WILL DO ALL THIS OBJECTIVELY

AND WITH GOOD INTENTIONS